The Many Layers of Motherhood
“Being a mom has made me so tired, and so happy.” — Tina Fey
When you have your first child, it feels SO. HARD.
Everything feels overwhelming and different. And that’s because IT IS. And you have no idea what you’re doing! And during this pandemic, I can’t imagine being a new mom. My heart truly goes out to women with new babies right now.
When I had my first child, I was working full-time and in graduate school. It felt crazy. I have the clearest memories of having to leave grad class and pumping in my car. It wasn’t glamorous; it felt so awkward and impossible.
With my first baby, I took everything very seriously. Organic baby food. Everything had to be “natural.” And you know what, slowly all that went out the window. As a mother, you worry about everything and don’t want to make a mistake. But that is only sustainable for so long.
By the time I had my second and eventually, my third daughter, I was far more laid back and relaxed. Don’t get me wrong, it is not any easier. As my kids grow and change, my role as a mom changes too, so I basically still have no idea what I'm doing!!!
But, I have been able to let go more. I know I can't control or worry about everything, so I don't kill myself trying to do so. Now I know that that sink full of dishes can wait.
Maintaining Your Identity in Motherhood
One thing I knew would change when I became a mother was my Identity, but I had no idea what that truly meant. Your life changes and you become someone you’ve never known before. You become a mother. It’s so incredible and amazing, while at the same time very scary — entering this world of the unknown.
Fortunately, as a mother, I’ve worked really hard to keep my identity as my own. I’ve spent time focusing on things that are important to me and make me feel most like myself. Yoga, fashion, design. These are all things that help me feel most like me. I both teach and attend yoga classes regularly. Fashion is a large part of my business. And especially now, I’m spending time working on design work in remodeling my home.
“I think every working mom probably feels the same thing: You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘This is impossible — oh, this is impossible. ‘ And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.”
The Layers Evolve
Since I’ve become a mother, I have struggled with my perfectionist tendencies. I’ve worked so hard, ironically, on NOT being so hard on myself. I have learned to let go more and realize that I can’t do everything. Not only have I worked to offer grace to those around me, but it’s even more important to have grace with yourself. Working daily to have compassion for myself is vital to my well-being.
Regularly, I find myself apologizing to my kids. I want them to know I’m not perfect, but I’ll always be there for them. Keeping open lines of communication with your spouse, children, and even yourself, is so important and yet another layer of motherhood that evolves over time.
Self-Care in Motherhood
My husband and I are on zone defense with our three girls. There are two of us and three of them, and, oftentimes, it can feel overwhelming as they grow up and reach new struggles and stages of their childhood that we need to figure out. When navigating new situations, my husband and I try to collaborate — and act as a team. But that doesn’t mean we don’t disagree or bicker about one another’s parenting style.
When these arguments happen, or I feel like I just need my space, I try to take time for myself. It’s definitely not always easy to do — especially now during the COVID-19 pandemic with my husband working from home and the kids being home 24/7! But I know I am a better mom and wife when I take time to be with my thoughts and interests. I make a consistent effort to show up on my yoga mat. Yoga gives me time to be by myself. I take time to re-set and re-charge.
You Deserve It
Moms, we see you. We honor you. And we celebrate you. Especially right now, the greatest gift we can give ourselves is one of self-love. And TBH the second is jewelry! Haha! :)
One of our two biggest sales throughout the year is happening now! Treat yourself to those pieces you have had your eye on! Pick out something you’ll wear every day, because every day that we get to be on this Earth is special.
Happy Mother’s Day to you!