Mom Truth: We Need to Go Easy on Ourselves

I have never wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom. 

There. I said it. Somehow just saying that makes me feel a little guilty like I SHOULD want to stay home full time to take care of my family. But the more women I connect with and the older I get, I realize that many of us do not have a natural desire to be a stay-at-home-parent. And you know what? That’s okay! (I’m mostly saying that for myself, btw!)

I love working.

Working fulfills me and makes me a better mom. When I’m in the studio creating and interacting with others, I am completely filling myself up which in turn allows me to pour into my family when I am home. I’m able to be more present with my family when I’ve had a chance to be away pursuing my outlet of creating and running a small business.

But, truthfully, right now I feel like I’m failing at both being a mom and working. And it frankly sucks.

The global pandemic has affected all of us in different ways. And, I’m not even a frontline worker; I can’t even imagine how scary that must be. I’m so grateful for everything our healthcare heroes are selflessly and tirelessly doing.

But even in my roles, I’m so worried about what the fall will look like. In our village, we have a hybrid in-person and virtual model for school in the fall. With my three girls back to school only two days per week, and virtual schooling at home the other three days, I’m afraid I won’t be able to manage both working and homeschooling them. (Not to mention, we’re living through a construction project too!)

We are not alone.

Moms everywhere are grappling with this impossible situation. Which brings me a little bit of comfort.

Every day brings new thoughts on what the next season will look like. I’m saying to myself, we’ll be okay, we’ll work through it. And other moments I’m struggling to even comprehend how we’ll even make it a day of virtual school. With two parents working full-time, I’m already maxed out.

Sometimes avoidance is ok.

So you know what I’ve been doing?

Avoiding thinking about it. Yup. I’m taking it day-by-day. One thing at a time. Is that the best approach? I don’t know. Who knows what’s best right now? But really, I should probably make a plan. I’m sure many of you feel that way too. 

This is hard. Life is just strange right now. None of us have ever been through an experience like this and it’s impossible to navigate. We’re considering hiring someone to help with our girls’ virtual schooling, but have no idea what that would look like or how we would afford it. So many families are trying to figure this out, too.

So for now I’m taking it one step at a time. And I’m grateful that we’re together and we’re healthy. I’m trying to be content with the fact that I don’t have everything planned out and that I cannot control this situation. 

We will do the best we can.

But! I would also love your suggestions or any advice you have! How are your families managing this fall?  What will make it a little easier? Leave a comment below!