Getting Out of a Relationship Rut: How to Keep the Romance Alive

When was the last time you went on a date with your partner? If you can’t remember, it just might be time to make a plan!

This year, my husband and I are working to make our relationship more of a priority, so one of our goals is to start dating. With both of us working, having our own lives and, not to mention, three daughters, we are exhausted by the end of the day, and it seems impossible to squeeze in some “us” time. If you are falling into the same rut that we are guilty of, here are a some ways we are trying to reconnect in 2019, after 14 years of marriage.

Plan date nights at home.

This one seems so obvious, right? But unless you actually plan to spend time together at home, you may go through the routine and end up fast asleep on the couch by 8 pm! Guilty as charged.

Dedicate a night to watching a movie or a favorite show or, even better, turn off the TV and play cards or a game. Make a special dinner or dessert. Open a nice bottle of wine and turn on a fun playlist.

If you take this route, don’t talk about the normal, mundane things you would at home, like work, chores, schedules or kids. Just because you’re at home, doesn’t mean it has to feel like an average night.

Schedule day dates.

Another thing my husband and I like to do is plan time to connect during the day. During the week, we try to meet up for a yoga class or for lunch, which is a great way to connect without waiting until Saturday night.

On the weekends, we try to sneak off by ourselves to run errands or grocery shop together. Planning our week and meals gives us an ideal time to connect and talk. And while it might sound kinda lame, it’s actually been a great time for us both to be productive and spend quality time together.

Hit the town!

Sometimes you just need to go out on the town! Make a dinner reservation somewhere nice or sit at your favorite restaurant’s bar. Change it up!

Sometimes I like to get a little dressed up, aka something besides yoga pants. Whatever you decide to do, take the pressure off and remember how much fun it is to spend time with one another.

Consistency is key.

When you don’t regularly connect, it can feel hard to find your way back to one another. If you have kiddos, get a babysitter if you can, and fit in a weekly or monthly date. When we set a specific time on the calendar, it’s more likely to happen. Try not to let too much time pass before you get out together.

Continue talking.

If you have kids, you know very well that our priorities shift, and as tempting as it may be, we need to make our date nights a priority, and focus on us and not them! It’s so easy to just talk about your kids and daily life, but you need to remember it was you and your partner before the kids came along and you’ll be together long after they’ve left the house. Hard to imagine, right?

No matter what kind of date you plan, the most important piece is that you make the commitment to one another to keep dating. You don’t need to have a grand plan figured out, but if you make dating your partner a priority, you’ll both feel happier and probably less pressure in your relationship.

Connecting with my husband is definitely one of my intentions this year.